In which, we will see the Tale of Scrooge is re-told, but with the energetic and playful Capuchin monkey, Mr. Throttlebottom-Smith.
Ebenezer Scrooge had scarcely recovered from the alarming visitation of his late partner, Jacob Marley, when the first of the spirits entered his bedchamber.
THE FIRST GHOST
To Scrooge's surprise, the Ghost of Christmas Past was not any of the expected types. Instead, there stood Mr. Throttlebottom-Smith, an energetic and mischievous Capuchin monkey of approximately thirty pounds. No sooner had Scrooge noticed him, than he immediately climbed the bedpost, removed Scrooge's nightcap, inspected it for insects, and placed it upon his own head.
Chattering excitedly, the monkey opened a glowing portal into the past.
There followed scenes from Scrooge's lonely childhood, his apprenticeship under the jovial merchant Fezziwig, and his courtship of Belle. Mr. Throttlebottom-Smith insisted on interrupting each one by swinging from chandeliers, stealing pocket watches, or disappearing with the bowl of walnuts.
The next moment Scrooge found himself in his bedroom, the clock chiming two.
THE SECOND GHOST
The Ghost of Christmas Present appeared as an enormous capuchin monkey nearly six feet tall and weighing, by conservative estimate, over three hundred pounds. He wore magnificent robes trimmed with holly and an expression of limitless good cheer.
They traveled around London, seeing families of modest means yet so truly happy, unless they noticed their tables left near-empty by the ravenous passing ghost. Back at Scrooge's bedroom, the ghost and his girth vanished as the clock struck three.
THE THIRD GHOST
The next thing Scrooge knew, he was shivering in a cold, snowy cemetery, standing at his own grave, and being pelted by endless mounds of monkey poo, soon covered from head to toe.
Unfortunately, in this version of the tale, either the monkey or the man has tripped an interstellar circuit breaker, and the scene repeats.
Noble visitor, we advise you to withdraw and live a better life.
